George Jackson, Sr. had four main core values: hard work, faith, love, and family. In fact, daddy's hard work ethic, his faith in God, and his enormous capacity for loving others shaped my own core value of "family".
Daddy, a self-proclaimed "hoster", and his brothers looked forward to the times when our family reunions were held in Bulloch County. In and around this area is where the Jackson-Sampson-Robbins and the Pierce families received its humble beginnings. And knowing my daddy, I'm pretty sure there was a part of him that believed many of these people traveled from near and far just to see him. That's why he took his title as hoster seriously.
Being a hoster comes with an important duty: actually knowing the members of your family. Without fail, the Jackson Boys - George, Joe, and Ernest - would use the same strategy to trigger their memories when approached by a family member they should know:
Mystery family member: (excitedly embracing Joe) JOE! Boy, I ain't seen you in years! You know who I am?
Joe: (grinning, but shook to the core) Uh, ye...yeah, I do, baby! How you doing!? (looking for reinforcement, he yells for his brother) Uh, Ernest! C'mere!
Ernest walks towards Joe and the mystery family member.
Joe: Ernest, now I betcha don't know who this is!
Ernest is clueless.
Joe: (to the mystery family member) I knew he would know who you is, baby! (to Ernest) C'mon Ernest, you know who this is. Look at her hard!
Ernest: (still clueless, but not to be outdone, hugs the mystery family member and laughs) Oh...oh HEY BABY! Oooo, I haven't seen you in so long. How you doin'? C'mere...(looking for reinforcement, he yells for the hoster) GEORGE! GEORGE! Look who it is!
Daddy: (grinning at the mystery family member and ready to greet and embrace her) Hey, baby!
Ernest: (to Joe laughing) He, don't know who this is! (to daddy) Who this is, George!? Look at her hard!
Daddy: (stumped, he smiles sheepishly) I'm sorry, baby, now tell me who you is.
The mystery family member reveals her identity
Daddy: (now, fully aware of who the woman is, he grabs her and hugs her harder) OOOOOOOH MY GAWD! C'mere, girl! Oh, I'm so glad to see you! I love you!
Ernest: Now, George! (to his brother with a mischievous grin) You ought to be ashamed of yourself! That's yo' family, boy!
Joe and Ernest are relieved George helped crack this case and they all have a laugh.
I once heard someone say that you and I are "a presence first, and a person second." If we were to see each other in this way, we'd drop our prejudices and preconceived judgments and find family and connection. This week, I went to my favorite nail salon for my favorite self-care activity -- a manicure finished with my current favorite neutral gel nail color - “Number 108”. There is one nail technician in particular whose presence captures me each time I visit the salon. I look forward to hearing Asokha uplifting conversations with her clients and watching her go over and beyond in her work. When I walked into the nail salon on Tuesday, Asokha was the only person there. I felt that I was walking into a divine appointment. With the salon to ourselves, we began with casual conversation and then our conversation shifted into a soul edifying session. We were so engaged that even as other nail technicians and clients entered the salon, it felt as if we were still alone. What would normally be an hour visit turned into a two-hour therapeutic event. We could have gone on longer! We had captured each other's presence. Towards the end of my appointment, I kept feeling a nudge to ask for her contact information. Before I could gather the courage to do so, she placed a pad and pen in front of me and told me to write down my information. What we discovered was that though our backgrounds were very different, the DNA of our spirits were almost identical. At the time I didn't know her name, but I knew she was my family. We had found each other and wanted to make sure we stayed connected.
A few days later, Keith and I were in Augusta for his outpatient procedure. I began searching for more kindred spirits (and trust me, what you search for, you'll find!). I know Keith's surgeon, Dr. Meretz, enjoys his work, loves his team, and likes listening to 50s music. So do I! I know the young lady who was our housekeeper is from Millen. She shared this information after warmly greeting us in the hallway and asking us where we were from. I know the sweet woman who checked us into the hospital at 6am has a daughter who recently moved to Oregan and misses her very much. When we parted ways, she yelled to us -- "Y'all are such a blessing!" And I yelled back, "So are you!". And the elderly lady I met in the parking lot of a CVS drug store who greeted me with a "Well hello, lady!", I know she was grateful for the warm sunshine after the morning's chilly start. Little did she know she was my warm sunshine.
Asokha, Dr. Meretz, the hotel housekeeper, hospital staff member, the little lady in the CVS parking lot -- we shared a common family trait: we were daring enough to be open to connecting with each other. And in so doing we became fully engaged and present in our interactions with each other and were not afraid to share a part of ourselves. In those moments, they revealed their identities. Who they are is no longer a mystery. They are family. When we shared these mindful interactions, we created our own mini family reunions. I refuse to believe that almost 8 billion beings were placed on the same rock to live in small, isolated bubbles. It just doesn't make sense to me. We share this space and time together to form connections, to enjoy one another, to support each other. Just like family.
Some of you may have trouble opening up to people who are not familiar, people who do not resemble you. Some of you may have a "Fort Knox-strong" wall around your heart because of past hurts and disappointments when it comes to building relationships. Today as you go here and there, try to remember you are a part of a greater community. Know that you have the power to evoke connection by daring to be open, by being present in your interactions, and by sharing a small part of you -- even if it's your smile accompanied with eye contact or your "hello". Don't just look at the person, discover their presence, their true identity. Be fully aware of who they are by seeing through the person and embracing the essence of who they are. Look at them hard. Being intentional about building bridges with others is a choice. With a little hard inside work and action and faith in restoration and community; you'll notice your capacity for love and compassion for people will increase and building connection will begin to flow with more ease. If you allow yourself to become vulnerable and open to receiving others, you are sure to solve the case of identifying a mysterious "family member" or two (or more!).
댓글