"At least there is hope for a tree. If it is cut down, it will sprout again, and its new shoots will not fail. Its roots may grow old in the ground and its stump die in the soil, yet at the scent of water it will bud and put forth shoots like a plant." Job 14:7-9
Summer 2020 was amazing. Prior to this summer, I've always wanted to have a consistent workout routine, but I never thought I'd be able to do any of the exercises because of the arthritis and joint deterioration. Surprisingly, I was able to do much more than I ever thought I could. All summer as I pushed myself physically, I learned so much about myself during my sessions with my personal trainer, DeAnthony. As my body was becoming stronger, my confidence began to grow as well. The outpouring of support from family and friends was overwhelming; their cheerleading helped me to soar! For the first time, I felt committed to a health and fitness routine -- an area where I had struggled and failed so many times before was now feeling conquerable. I felt like a warrior.
And then cue the same ol' issues. During my last couple of sessions for the month of July, I found it very difficult to do some of the exercises that were once easy for me. I was able to complete the workout, but through the week, the soreness that usually came and went was intensifying and was not going away. The soreness became severe pain which made sitting, standing, walking, and lying down very difficult. I would yell in agony when driving over speed bumps and would get three to four hours of sleep a night due to the pain throbbing in my lower back and right hip. Not even pain medication and the heating pad was effective. Arthritis had come to play and was not playing fair at all. On August 17th, I was given a steroid shot (yet again), more steroid pills, a muscle relaxer, and a pain medication. My doctor scheduled me for x-rays and instructed me to suspend my training sessions. So here we go again. Like so many times in the past, I found myself right back to square one.
Oh, but not THIS time, devil! Nope. This time I had a plan. The old me would have felt like a failure and very ashamed. I mean, I had publicly shared my health journey with EVERYONE, and now look at me. My first response would have been to isolate myself from everyone and to create an atmosphere just right for self-condemnation and self-loathing. But honey chile, ain't nobody got time for that! This time, I simply shifted. When my body and soul went low, my spirit went high (thank you for that, Former First Lady Michelle Obama!). Instead of falling back into self-pity and comfort eating, I decided to dive even deeper into my relationship with God, to get connected to my Maker -- the. most. rewarding. thing. EVER! I'm talking about a serious spiritual and inner training and overhaul. I also began to shift my attention to the present. I learned that I was so focused on the vision that I was neglecting the right here and NOW. Feel the feelings, girl. Accept where you currently are. Breathe. And shift. Today, I feel unshakeable. I have clarity. I am peace-FULL, faith-FULL, and joy-FULL. While assigned to this waiting room; my roots grow deeper, I am renewed, I am strengthened. I am that tree who at the mere scent of water, is encouraged, buds, and grows. Deep calls to deep, and this warrior continues to rise.
An' no matter what, imma keep on risin'. At my follow-up appointment this past Thursday, I learned that while I've dropped 10lbs since my visit a month ago, my bloodwork revealed that I am now pre-diabetic. And because the x-ray images were inconclusive, an MRI was ordered in hopes of finding the issue with my lower back and hip. While frustrated with the diagnosis, I am resolved to commit to the process and stand firm. Daily, I remind myself that giving up is not an option because there is too much at stake. I know that my overarching narrative is better than my current situation, so my daily mission is to stay anchored, to remain mindful and grateful, and to align my actions to my purpose. Every room of the temple is being remodeled as I strategically work from the inside out. And because I've been doing hardcore business with the One who created me, the One who loves and knows me best, I see evidence of healing and wholeness. I'm taking intentional actions as I shift with the bumps along the way. And I'm staying present by making mindfulness and gratitude my daily practice. Now, I've got lots of time for ALL OF THAT.
Challenges are inevitable. It is a part of living. When the body fails us and the soul is weary, it is our spirit that sustains us. What are you currently doing to nurture your spirit NOW so when faced with challenges, you are able to remain rooted and renewed?
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